The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How does one acquire holy water?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
