"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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