Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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