i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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