do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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