I think my vagina is haunted
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
