vagina is talking i cant
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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