Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
