how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
