absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
