and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
