Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize