I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
