Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
