look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
