isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
