okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
