My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
