you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
