he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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