maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
