I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
