at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
No subtext here. People are naked.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
