yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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