Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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