Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
