you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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