Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
