4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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