carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
