PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
