I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
COCAINE IS GR8
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
