is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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