I accidentally had phone sex last night
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize