I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize