'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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