meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
