in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
