Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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