My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
