that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
