xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
