god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
