First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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