Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
