Where are you?
In a non slutty way
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
