I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
