You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
