we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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