I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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