Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
