omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
