You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
