My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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