This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
