I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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