Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Your penis caused this!
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