She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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