Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
